loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
