Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
its not stalking. its research.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
