i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
