i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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