can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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