every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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