Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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