What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
