Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
