is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
