Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
