Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
