i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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