woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My boob is missing a layer of skin
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
