This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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