i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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