Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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