I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
