i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
