There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So. Much. Porn.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
