My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Your dad touched me again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
