Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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