Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
