it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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