I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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