Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize