Kiss
Puke
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
