What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
