it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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