the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
