Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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