Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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