I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
