I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
