I puked a lego.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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