You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Do vagina's smell?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
