i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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