? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
