This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
