idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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