You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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