i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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