a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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