it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
