You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
