I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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