Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
