Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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