I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
