hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
